Where is Duncan?

..that is what Moira kept asking as we headed into this house this morning at 8AM.
We had to put Duncan on the bus this morning, a school bus to take him to special needs preschool. We tried to prepare him, we talked about it, we bought and read books; we went to school and met his teacher (she's awesome) and explored his new classroom. For all these things my little 4 1/2 year old held my hand, sat in my lap and hugged me. I am not sure who was comforting who...

Going to the special needs preschool is the right thing to do, my head tells me so; my heart says he your little boy - do NOT send him alone on a bus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Unfortunately or Fortunately (depending on perspective) Jamie will be sending Duncan off most mornings. I've done the drop off at daycare/preschool with both Duncan & Moira and the first day is the hardest thing to do, Until I put Duncan on the empty bus (except the driver).

Duncan is a big kid, most people think he is 6 or 7 years old - when we went to visit his new teacher we ran into a Kindergarten class (he had 2-3 inches on all of the kids). So my big boy wearing size 6 looked so small and fragile when he put on his school uniform this morning. He kept hugging me and saying "it's okay. it's alright". I am not sure who was comforting who...

He finally broke into a smile waiting outside for the bus.. it was short lived once he sat down and seatbelted in. When Moira said goodbye, it broke my heart, he realized we were not going to take this most important trip with him; that look haunts me this morning. He hugged Froggy close to him and watched us out the window. As he pulled out of view I cried... I am relying on his inner strength today, I know it's there it shines past his autism, to push forward and understand that we are here always and we love him! I hope he finds his new classroom and big adventure and makes new friends.

Autism does not keep him from adventures, it brings him to new ones. Power on Green Duncan and go forth and conquer your new school, but don't look at Mommy for a minute she is looking for her Green Lantern ring to give her strength!

.. so to answer you little Moira "Duncan is going to school today, he's riding the bus like a big boy. He'll come home later today and share his new world with you"